A letter to my Mother-in-law by M.O.

I have wanted to confront you about this for a while now but for the sake of my husband I have stayed silent.  Let me explain . . .

I have been with your son for over 5 years now. We have our ups and downs just like any couple but there has always been something a little...... off about your son.  Nothing you would ever notice or even want to know, I'm sure, but since I am intimate with your son, I notice.  When we were first together, sex was fun, exciting and new to our relationship so we partook in it often and I'm not ashamed to admit it.  We enjoyed each others' bodies as much as we could but something was never quite right down there.  I had been previously married and not ashamed to admit I had had a few other partners before then, too.  Most of them were, like your son, circumcised. My experience with sex prior to meeting your son was pretty typical. Mostly satisfying with just a hint of pain and dryness.  This was something I thought was normal something every woman experienced.  I mean that's why they make lube.... right?  Still there was something more...... something different with your son.  Most men orgasm rather quickly or at least barely hold out long enough for me to finish but with your son it was never ending.  There was no end in sight........ no orgasm, no finish...... nothing.  He couldn't orgasm?  Was I doing something wrong? Was it me? Was I not enough for him?  I tried and tried so hard but I just couldn't..... I couldn't "finish" him.  I questioned him frequently about his prior sexual encounters of which there were few.  Did you ever orgasm during sex?  Nope.  Never?  Not that I can remember.  Really? Not even once?  Nope not a one.  He just shrugged this off as if it were "normal" as if it this happened to every guy.  I had never heard of such a thing not in my life.  I questioned him even further.  How about masturbation?  Yes, usually.  "Ok, well lets try that" I thought.  At  least then we will both be satisfied.  So we did our normal thing just ending things a little more manually than usual.  It worked.... but only after a heart pounding rhythm that would make anyone pass out from exhaustion.  Hey, maybe now we truly can enjoy each other to the fullest extent. Our lives continued this way for a while.  We had sex, I'd finish, then I would watch as he finished himself.  There were maybe 2 to 3 times where after considerable manual stimulation I was able to finish him myself.  We got used to it and eventually I just thought this was how he was... this was his "normal".

It wasn't until we both watched something on circumcision that I ever questioned that something truly wasn't right.  A  year or so in we were big fans of Penn and Teller so naturally we watched the Bullshit episode on circumcision.   I thought "Hmmm..... over 20,000 nerve endings lost to circumcision?  Circumcision affects the sexual function of the penis?  Could THIS be his problem?"  We talked a little bit about it and I looked into a few things but it never went past that.  He insisted it was a "stamina" issue and we left it at that.

Fast forward a year or 2 more and we were finally pregnant after struggling with infertility!  We were overjoyed. At 18 weeks we found out IT's A BOY!!!  Then it hit me...... would we circumcise him? I knew I had to research it more.  So I dove in.  The more I found out the more our "normal" wasn't so normal anymore.  That was it.  That was his problem.  You see, when you take away the foreskin not only do you take away over 20,000 nerve endings responsible for sexual pleasure (which are also the MOST sensitive part of the penis) you also take away the protective function of the foreskin leaving the head of penis exposed. When the head is exposed to underwear and clothing on a regular basis it becomes dry and calloused leading to even further sensation loss.  His loss is so bad that even what most circumcised men would consider "normal" sex was impossible for my husband...... his loss was too great. With all the evidence of how painful, unnecessary  and damaging it could be to his future sex life we decided to keep our son whole.  Your son never thought twice about the decision and was the first one of us to say "we aren't doing it".  When our son was born, he was so perfect and tiny.  I couldn't ever imagine handing him over to someone with the intent of having part of him cut off without his consent.  I just don't understand it but I gave you the benefit of the doubt and assumed you were just uninformed and would never intentionally do this to your son, as I assume with most parents that circumcise.

After a few blissful sleep deprived months of parenting we decided to try having some "adult time" again.  This time, though, we had a lot less time to "make things work" than we had before his birth so our "fun" was always interrupted   I didn't tell anyone this at the time but I was always thankful when my son woke up too soon as it gave me an excuse to say no.  Sex wasn't the same anymore and now it was even worse........ now it was really painful.  I attributed this mostly to childbirth but I knew if he was intact he would produce his own lubrication and would also need far less stimulation to feel anything.  If we used lube he didn't feel it but if we used none I couldn't take it...... now what?  We tried a few more times but in the 15 months now since his birth we have NEVER finished..... not once.  We always start but it ends in sad disappointment for both of us. It was always a bit dry and painful but I thought that's just how sex was and after giving birth I am a lot more sensitive so I notice it more.  I tried remembering back to the only intact partner I've ever had and I never remember pain.  Actually it was the exact opposite, smooth and slow, never painful or dry. What now?  I wondered..... Will it ever go back to "normal?"  Sadly, it has not.  He and I have talked a lot about restoration which is something he wants to do but is depressed by the idea of doing something uncomfortable everyday for months or years because YOU took his choice away.  Fine.... you clearly didn't know any better I thought.  So I put my feelings aside in hopes that someday this would never be an issue.

I became really active in the intactivist community when my son was about 3 to 4 months old. I became the director of a local intactivist chapter and started posting stuff on my personal Facebook page as well.  At first, I got some flack for it but I just stayed factual and kept my emotions out of it.  I got unfriended and even blocked by some of his other family but I didn't care.  I was speaking the truth and hoping that someone would listen.  You live several hours away and don't come down that often so you don't really know what our relationship or our family is like.  I understand its hard to get down here that often and you are busy so you stay connected to us through Facebook.  My husband told me you weren't too happy about my posts and that you and most of your family hide me on Facebook. Fine, you don't want to see the truth.  It doesn't bother me but don't get upset about not getting enough "updates" if you are unwilling to look at my Facebook page.  All of that was fine.... yes I was a little hurt and annoyed that you were so stuck in your ways that you refused to even look into circumcision or that you hid me on Facebook but that was something I could get over.  Then there was your infamous visit.  I'm sure you know the one.  You drove down here (an 8 hour trip) then just up and left unexpectedly after only only a few hours even though you planned on staying the night.  The visit was normal.  You questioned my gentle parenting approaches; "Does he REALLY need to sleep with you?  Well what about my son?  Is HE ok with it?"  Well, yes, actually.  He was right there, you could have asked him but you didn't . Fine, you question my parenting choices, I get that. You co-slept with one of your babies and didn't like it; you have a right to your opinion.  This too was fine.  What wasn't fine is when the topic turned to my intactivism.

I made a joke to my husband about how I wanted to vacation in D.C. You asked why and when I told you I wanted to be involved in Genital Integrity Awareness Week you just gave me a look.  A look that says "I disapprove.  Then don't be an intactivist.  No one is asking you to be.  That too is fine but it was taken so much further.  My husband said "have fun with that" meaning he constantly heard me going on and on about this stuff..... circumcision this..... foreskin restoration that.  While he did fully agree with me and has said (unprompted) that circumcision is horrible you didn't see it that way.  I replied "what you don't want to talk about circumcision and foreskin restoration?"  Of course he does not because it makes him uncomfortable about his own loss but not only that he hates hearing about the same thing over and over.  This goes for anything be it breastfeeding, circumcision, or any parenting related subject to games, food, the dog, our life in general or any other random topic he HATES going over things we have already discussed at length.  It was very clear in what you said and how you acted that you believe whole heartily that I forced the decision not to cut our son on him.  That is simply not true but what you said next was just unthinkable.  After his reply of "no thanks you have fun with that though I'll do something else there" you quickly replied with this look of complete disdain "I'm sure he enjoys not having his foreskin!" My heart stopped!!! "NO he doesn't actually" spilled out of my mouth before I could even take a breath.  It was my gut reaction . .  the only one I could muster.  I can't even imagine what must have been going through my husbands mind. There were so many things I wanted to say but my baby fussed and I had to lay down on the big chair and foot rest to nurse him down.  I wanted to say "How the hell would you know? Have you ever asked him?" of course not or "Yes, I'm sure he "enjoys" not having 20,000 specialized nerve endings and the most sensitive part of his penis missing so that he is now unable to reach orgasm during sexual intercourse. What man wouldn't?"  I wanted to scream and rip my hair out but this was only the beginning   You then described how your younger son "slept" through the whole thing and didn't cry once. Let me be clear that you were lied to and that NO baby "sleeps" through this procedure.  It is incredibly painful and most go into a semi comatose state to preserve themselves also known as SHOCK!  I tried to explain this to you but you refused to hear it and then went into great detail about how your son - my husband - was screaming when he was brought back.  So not only do I have to know and have to experience the suffering he experiences from his sexual dysfunction due to YOUR choice; now I have to live with the image of my husband as a tiny perfect newborn being handed over and cut up only to be brought back screaming in pain to a mother who acts as though she couldn't care less about the suffering of her newborn son.  What's worst of all is you said this in such a matter of fact way like you were describing how you get your morning coffee.  How can someone who claims to love her children as you do care so little about the pain you had inflicted on him?  Then when someone disputes your claims of him "loving" his mutilated penis you act as if you couldn't care less.  The coldness in your tone sickened me to the point I felt physically ill.

It still takes every ounce of strength I have to be pleasant and civil with you when I see you in person for the sake of my son and yours.  I pray that some day my husband has the strength to tell you how YOUR decision hurt him and took away his ability to ever have a normal healthy sex life. 

Sincerely, 

Your very frustrated Daughter in Law

To My Two Beloved Sons, from J.D.

Dear J and M,

You two will never know how much I love you. You are both the light of my world, you make life worth living, you shed a little light on even my worst and most stressful days. It is with a heavy heart that I am going to express my feelings about what I allowed to be done to you. You were both born so perfect. 

J, when you were born I was only 19 years old, my 19th birthday to be exact. You were the best birthday present a mother could ever wish for. But I was, unfortunately, uneducated on several motherhood topics, and allowed myself to be pumped full of drugs, which is where our story begins. I had a muscle relaxer to "take the edge off" while I waited for my epidural. Once you were born you had to be taken to the nicu, my temperature had spiked right before delivery and they wanted to make sure I had not passed on an infection to you. You were in the nicu for almost a week, despite them not saying what was wrong with you. They pumped you full of antibiotics, but every time I asked what was wrong with you they gave me the run around and couldn;t give me a diagnosis. I regret allowing you to be taken now, it was obviously not needed. I don't remember exactly when your circumcision took place, I don't even remember being given papers to read or sign. No doctor came to talk to me about the risks of the surgery, and all I had heard was that it was necessary, end of story. Nobody bothered to tell me about any complications, or that it is a purely cosmetic procedure. I, of course, trusted the doctors word. After all, they went to medical school and I didn't, so they must know best, right? If I had known that I would not have put you through that. The only detail I remember is that you had the plastibell procedure, I remember the bell coming off and seeing your swollen and red penis. I remember feeling horrible for you, but I thought it as just one of those things that baby boys had to go through, for health reasons. Your entire birth and our hospital stay is a complete blur, I hardly remember any of it, and I blame the drugs they pumped me full of. Looking back, I think they preyed on me since I was a young mother on medicaid, and because of that you were the perfect guinea pig for the sick and twisted doctors that perform this unnecessary procedure on defenseless baby boys.

Almost two years went by, and we decided it was time to try for another baby, so you could have a sibling. It didn't take long at all for me to conceive. You were three years old when we found out we were expecting another boy. This time, I decided to do things slightly differently. I spent countless hours on the internet, researching vaccines and trying to decide if I wanted to continue vaccinating you or your brother when he was born. I finally made my decision, to discontinue all vaccinations for you and to never vaccinate your brother. But I spent so much time researching vaccines that it never occurred to me to research anything else. After all, I should have known just about anything I needed to know about parenting babies and toddlers by then, right? Since I had done it all once before. 

M, you were finally born in December of 2011, a perfect baby boy. I didn't get the muscle relaxer during my labor with you, but I did get an epidural. Your birth and our hospital experience is a little clearer, but still kind of blurry. I had a different doctor with you, one that I had truly loved throughout my pregnancy, she had been so kind and courteous during my pregnancy and delivery. The morning after you were born she came in to talk to me about your circumcision, she told me she would be performing it that morning. I do not remember signing a consent form, I just remember feeling as if she knew best since she was a doctor and that it was not my place to question it. So once again, I allowed my second precious baby boy to be taken back for a circumcision. You were gone for about an hour, I remember her telling me that the procedure was quick and she would bring you back to me very quickly. I was beginning to get worried when you were wheeled back into my room in your little bassinet. The first diaper change after your circumcision was awful.  I remember seeing your swollen and red penis. I believe you had the gomco procedure. I felt bad, but again I thought it was something that had to be done. 

Fast forward to when you were 10 months old, M, I stumbled on a intactivist page on facebook that had links to articles and even videos of a circumcision being performed. I watched a video, sound on, and the pain I felt for that baby, for both of my sons, was so incredible. It was a paralyzing feeling, I watched in disbelief as the doctor sliced into the skin of the poor baby's penis, and the screams that came from that poor child was almost to much to bear. I broke down into tears, watching as the baby struggled against the circumstraint to no avail. After the doctor sliced the foreskin and began to tear it from the penis I remember hearing him say "he's got himself all worked up now", and that comment just made me want to scream. Of course he got himself all worked up! He was in the most excruciating pain he will ever feel, with only topical anesthesia and sugar water for comfort. It was then that I began to research on circumcision, and I only wish I had taken the time to research before you or your big brother were born. I am so sorry, both of my precious boys. I did not know better, I should have but I didn't. My heart hurts for what I allowed to be done to you, for what I allowed to be taken from you. I will do everything in my power to make it up to both of you. I will not rest until male circumcision is illegal just as female circumcision now is. I love you, and I am so very sorry. You cannot know the anger I feel at the medical establishment, at the doctor whom I had loved so much during my pregnancy with you, M. I don't even remember the doctor I had with you, J. It wasn't the one I had during my pregnancy, it was the on call doctor. I do not know if it was him or another doctor that performed your circumcision. I am so sorry boys, and I will do what I can to make this right.

With love,

Mommy.

To My First Son, from M.S.

To my first son, 

You were born so tiny and so perfect, my eyes filled with tears as the midwife handed you to me and I became a mother at 18 years old. I put you to my body and fed you as we studied each others face. You no longer were a part of me but we began to bond immediately. The first day you were calm, you made sweet little coos, you hardly cried and had a curious face and dark blue eyes looking into mine and I could feel your heart smiling. When you were not yet 24 hours old they came to our room and took you from me, I agreed to let you go, I said ok and buddy I so wish I would have held onto you, I need you to know that I did not really know what was about to happen and I'm sorry. While you were gone from me I wondered, wondered if it really wouldn't hurt, if it really was just a snip. Then you were brought back, you were cold, sweaty and your eyes were distant. You would not look me in the eye again, you rejected my breast and cried and screamed in pain. You would never breastfeed again. I changed that first diaper with you screaming, when I saw you raw, bloody and exposed I began to cry, we cried together, this time because I had only been a mother for a day and I had already failed my baby. I didn't protect you, I let them hurt you, I made a choice that wasn't mine to make and regret has filled my soul since that day. In the days and weeks that followed, as you healed you screamed all night, terror woke you up every night and pain every time you peed. I am so sorry for what I did to you. When you were 17 months old you became a big brother. You dont know it but you saved your little brother. I had him in the car, I delivered him into my hands with you watching from your carseat. You were the second person to ever touch him. I am sorry for what I let them do to you but when your brother was born I knew better and I would never let anyone hurt him. When your little brother was 2 and a half he became an older brother, we had him at home, you and brother touched him after mommy and daddy, a third little boy blessed our family. And You saved him too buddy. 

Six years have passed since your pain, but we still struggle with eye contact and closeness. Last night I washed your little brothers in the bath and then put your soap on your sponge so you could shower. I can see the reminder of what I took from you, it wasn't just skin, it was our bond, it was your trust, it was your right to genital integrity, autonomy and your right to chose for yourself. I took something from you I can never give back, I can't undo and I will regret forever. One day, I don't doubt, you will ask why your brothers look different, I'm afraid for when I have to tell you because buddy I can't lie to you, you'll cry and I will too. I can only hope you will forgive me and maybe find strength beyond your years to see that I realized my mistake and that you truly saved your brothers. I'm so sorry buddy, you will live with my mistake carved into your body and I will forever live with the guilt. 

To my son from M.R.

Dear son,

Mommy loves you!!!  I wish I would have known what I was doing when I agreed to let them circumcise you. See, you were born perfect!!!  I kept you perfect for 6 months. When the doctor told me you had a thing called a hypospadias, I worried . . . I was told the best thing was to have surgery and then circumcise you. I agreed.  The day you went into surgery I was sad. I didn't want you to leave my side. Part way through your surgery my breasts started to leak because you were not nursing.  When they put you into recovery, you were groggy and fussy.  I remember changing your diaper the first time and notice where there was once a whole baby, was a catheter and cut skin. I knew you were in a lot of pain. When we got home I made sure you had your medicine for pain, but nothing ever will take away the shrill screams that you let out when you went pee pee. I tried so hard to make you comfortable. But even nursing was not enough. After awhile, you healed and the catheter was removed. You grew and grew . . . and when you turned 3 I noticed how tight the skin was.  You cried so hard with every diaper change. The little bit of foreskin that was left was too tight to allow you to go potty and made it painful. Later we were told you would have to have surgery. Now we are waiting to fix something; something that should have never been done. Mommy feels horrible!!!  I hope you can forgive me . . . I would have never done this if I knew it hurt you sooo bad. For that very reason I kept your brother whole!!!!  I hope you never ever have to feel the way I do.

I love you soooooooo much
Mommy

A Letter of Regret (S.R.)

Unfortunately our experience with circumcision is not an uncommon one. We did what we thought was best for our child at the time. Looking back and thinking about the knot in my stomach as they wheeled my beautiful son, not even 24 hours old, to the nursery to cut him makes me want to throw up. It's such a raw emotion that comes up. I KNEW something wasn't right about it; “Why does this need to happen” was running through my head. I knew I had made the wrong choice, but it was too late. When my precious baby came back to me about 45 minutes later, it was confirmed. His eyes were glossy, he was sleepy (what I later found out to be possible shock) and he refused to nurse. We never got our nursing relationship back either, little did I know, this is common among babies that have been cut.

Luckily our son was left with quite a bit of foreskin, so most of the head of his penis is covered. That still doesn't change the fact that I consented to have something done to him that was purely cosmetic. It doesn't change the fact that when I change his diaper, I think about how he looked when he was wheeled back and how I was told, “he was a champ”. Most importantly, it doesn't change the fact that I consented to something that I shouldn't have had any say in. It was NOT my penis; it should NOT have been my choice.

There is still a bright side to all of this. Andrew has saved any future siblings of his from being circumcised. He has turned his Mommy in to someone who is now armed with information and willing to share. He has made his extended family aware of the dangers and aware that no health organization in the world recommends routine infant circumcision.

In the future, if he asks why we made the choice for him I am going to tell him the truth. I am going to tell him that we made the best decision with the information we had available to us; that we were uneducated on the topic, that we are so sorry for taking something away that could affect his life in many areas, be it sexual or just his daily living.

While I will always regret signing that piece of paper to have my son cut, I am working hard to forgive myself. I keep reminding myself that "You do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better you do better" (Maya Angelou.)

Not Normal (by J.M.)

I never questioned it. 
Well, I *did* bring it up before you were born, "Are we going to circumcise?" It really was a rhetorical question. 
Duh, of course we are. 
So you "look like Daddy", so you're "normal" in the locker room, and because we're not hippies.
Fast forward to 2 days after you were born. You are perfect. We drive to the pediatrician's office. I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach, an uncomfortable feeling. You *are* perfect and I don't want to hurt you, but I do it anyways. It's the right, normal thing to do. *I* am normal, all the doctors are waiting, Daddy is waiting, other patients are waiting, it's not a big deal, therefore this must be right.
They won't let me come with you and I cry while I'm waiting for you to come back. (Clearly, an emotional post-partum mother)
"I hate this. Why are we doing this?"
You're back. I am nursing you the best I can to comfort you. You're so tiny, only 2 days old. Suddenly, there's blood oozing out of your tiny diaper. Apparently, I ruptured the clot while holding you. 
"Oh, god, I'm so sorry!" 
The doctor just warns us to be careful. This must be normal.
Fast forward a couple weeks. I am bringing you back to the doctor's because I "know" something's not right. You cry so much when I have to push back the foreskin and, though I'm not an expert on penises, I think the ridge of the head of your penis should be more pronounced.
Doctor says, naturally, "It's reattaching. Sometimes it tries to heal itself." 
(This is normal?)
The doctor then tells me to hold you down while he grips your penis and pushes back on the foreskin. Hard. You scream, I cry, you bleed. This is abhorrent.
(Yes, this is normal.)
Fast forward 2 weeks later. Your penis is trying to adhere again. This time I know. 
I also know you need anesthetic.
Why didn't they give it to you the last time? 
So I ask, and he seems surprised, but he gives me a tube and sends us home, only to come back the next day after I've kept the numbing cream on you for a couple hours. (The doctor would have actually cut into you again without anesthetic?!)
This is not right. This is *not normal*!
Back again. The doctor uses an instrument similar to a scalpel to cut your adhering foreskin. You cry, it still hurts you, and you bleed.
I am crushed, I am defeated.
I made the wrong choice.
I never meant to hurt you, over and over. I am the one who is supposed to protect you. I am the one supposed to make the right choices for you. I am your Mother. I am so sorry, my beautiful, perfect angel. I didn't know. 
I was ignorant. 
I am sickened.

This marked the beginnings of changes in my many parenting perceptions and beliefs I had before you were born. I needed to write this in hopes of being able to forgive myself. You may not remember your circumcision, but I cannot forget it.
I love you so much.

Mama

My Most Precious and Beloved Son (by N.E.)

My most precious and beloved Son,

 I am writing you this letter because it has been on my heart to do so since having the realization that I failed to protect you when you were a baby. I’m talking about consenting for you to be circumcised. This letter is difficult to write because it kills me to know the pain and suffering you went through with my permission. It makes me sick knowing things could have been different if only I had educated myself.  You see, all babies are born with a foreskin. It is a normal part of genitalia and in baby boys and it is routinely removed after birth where we live. The doctors did not tell me about the risks of circumcision or the benefits of being left intact. It is left up to the parents to find out about these things with very little guidance from the medical community. I didn’t even know I needed to research it.

Son, your father and I decided to have you circumcised because we thought it was good for you. We had believed it to be more hygienic than leaving you intact and that it was just something you had to do for a boy. I had no idea that it was dangerous, is painful as it is, or that your foreskin was an important part of your penis that had an important role in your emotional, physical and sexual life. I did not research anything aside from recalling discussions I had with a man I knew who had a circumcision later in life and how he wished his Mother would have had it done when he was a baby. Everyone says it’s better to do as a baby because you don’t remember it happening.  There are a lot of things that people say because they have heard others say it and eventually, they come to believe these things. I encourage you to be a free thinker my love. Read, think analytically, and pray when you encounter these sorts of people and thinking.

After we brought you home, a good friend of mine started sharing information about circumcision.  My heart sank when I realized the kind of risks I took with your life and how much damage circumcision caused boys. You had some complications from your circumcision as well.  On the day you had the surgery performed, you came back to me mostly quiet and still. Your Daddy assured me you did “good” and that the procedure was quick. I quickly picked you up and loved on you and offered you my breast but you were not interested for long. Shortly after that you began to cry an inconsolable cry and panic rose up in me. I was so worried about you and it was awful to not be able to calm you. I worried I wasn’t breastfeeding you right and there was something wrong with my ability to produce milk for you. I prayed over you and held you close until you finally closed your eyes and slept. Several months passed and one day I opened your diaper you had a giant blister where your foreskin once was and no one could tell me what had caused this blister. You also suffered from adhesions where your skin tried re-attaching to the glans of your penis. No one warned me of the risks of circumcision and even though I wish someone would have; ultimately it was my responsibility to educate myself and I did not. I failed you and I am devastated by this reality.  I can only hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. If I had the chance to take it back, I would.

This has been a transformative experience for me and while I have agonized over this event in your life; I have tried to redeem the experience by becoming part of the intactivist movement. My goal is to make a little intactivist out of you as well. It has always been important to me for you to learn empathy and respect for human rights.  The man I pray you become will be passionate about caring for others, have integrity and speak the truth regardless of the consequence. I can only lead by example. You already join me as I advocate for those baby boys whose parents do not know the truth. Moms and Dads who think they have to do this for their sons when in fact, they do not. You show me the babies on the cards and carry them around with you.  I take this responsibility very seriously and I am passionate about telling people the truth even if it means people don’t like what they hear.  I believe in supporting the human rights of all people, no matter what their age, sex, color, religion, or sexual orientation. These are the types of things we must not be silent about. Every time I share, I think about you. I love you so much and am so blessed to have you as my son. I am always here for you and pray that this can be a healing experience for you.

Love Always,

Momma