Dear son,
Mommy loves you!!! I wish I would have known what I was doing when I agreed to let them circumcise you. See, you were born perfect!!! I kept you perfect for 6 months. When the doctor told me you had a thing called a hypospadias, I worried . . . I was told the best thing was to have surgery and then circumcise you. I agreed. The day you went into surgery I was sad. I didn't want you to leave my side. Part way through your surgery my breasts started to leak because you were not nursing. When they put you into recovery, you were groggy and fussy. I remember changing your diaper the first time and notice where there was once a whole baby, was a catheter and cut skin. I knew you were in a lot of pain. When we got home I made sure you had your medicine for pain, but nothing ever will take away the shrill screams that you let out when you went pee pee. I tried so hard to make you comfortable. But even nursing was not enough. After awhile, you healed and the catheter was removed. You grew and grew . . . and when you turned 3 I noticed how tight the skin was. You cried so hard with every diaper change. The little bit of foreskin that was left was too tight to allow you to go potty and made it painful. Later we were told you would have to have surgery. Now we are waiting to fix something; something that should have never been done. Mommy feels horrible!!! I hope you can forgive me . . . I would have never done this if I knew it hurt you sooo bad. For that very reason I kept your brother whole!!!! I hope you never ever have to feel the way I do.
I love you soooooooo much
Mommy
