Parents who have circumcised their children and come to regret making that decision often feel a sense of purpose by sharing their story. Men who have chosen to be circumcised have also regretted their choice. These stories reveal a side to circumcision that new and old parents alike may never have considered. Circumcision pain reaches far beyond the physical into the mental, emotional and spiritual, too.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

A Letter of Regret (S.R.)

Unfortunately our experience with circumcision is not an uncommon one. We did what we thought was best for our child at the time. Looking back and thinking about the knot in my stomach as they wheeled my beautiful son, not even 24 hours old, to the nursery to cut him makes me want to throw up. It's such a raw emotion that comes up. I KNEW something wasn't right about it; “Why does this need to happen” was running through my head. I knew I had made the wrong choice, but it was too late. When my precious baby came back to me about 45 minutes later, it was confirmed. His eyes were glossy, he was sleepy (what I later found out to be possible shock) and he refused to nurse. We never got our nursing relationship back either, little did I know, this is common among babies that have been cut.

Luckily our son was left with quite a bit of foreskin, so most of the head of his penis is covered. That still doesn't change the fact that I consented to have something done to him that was purely cosmetic. It doesn't change the fact that when I change his diaper, I think about how he looked when he was wheeled back and how I was told, “he was a champ”. Most importantly, it doesn't change the fact that I consented to something that I shouldn't have had any say in. It was NOT my penis; it should NOT have been my choice.

There is still a bright side to all of this. Andrew has saved any future siblings of his from being circumcised. He has turned his Mommy in to someone who is now armed with information and willing to share. He has made his extended family aware of the dangers and aware that no health organization in the world recommends routine infant circumcision.

In the future, if he asks why we made the choice for him I am going to tell him the truth. I am going to tell him that we made the best decision with the information we had available to us; that we were uneducated on the topic, that we are so sorry for taking something away that could affect his life in many areas, be it sexual or just his daily living.

While I will always regret signing that piece of paper to have my son cut, I am working hard to forgive myself. I keep reminding myself that "You do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better you do better" (Maya Angelou.)


  1. That he has a lot of skin left means that problems after puberty and in adult life are much less likely to occur. Also, his future spouse will probably enjoy the glide action that some American have highly praised.

    Most important of all, your grandsons will not be circumcised, and thus this evil cosmetic custom, grounded in a bizarre sexual fetish, will come to an end in your family line. That is cause for rejoicing.

  2. Thank you :) We just leave the foreskin he has alone so it has mostly re-attached. According to the WHOLE network. It will separate it's self as he grows.

    I just hope that people still look in to what the procedure actually is rather than following blindly, especially with the new AAP statement.

  3. I am sorry he had to endure that, but on the bright side the extra skin he has left over from his loose circumcision will prevent some of the issues circumcised men experience, such as tight and painful erections to the point that the skin splits open. I know it doesn't make it better, but at least you can take some comfort in that knowledge, and at least you know you will leave any future sons intact and you can teach him to leave any of his sons he might one day have intact. Both of my boys are circumcised, and while I cannot go back and change it I can make a difference by leaving any future sons intact and teaching them from a young age that circumcision is not necessary and teach them to leave their own sons as nature intended.


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