I have wanted to write this to you for over a year now. I guess I should start by telling you how much I love you. You are my firstborn, you are my wonderful, amazing, child. You have taught me so much about being a parent and being a better person. From the minute I found out I was pregnant I was ready to meet you. I knew you would be amazing.
When we found out you were a boy, we were over the moon! A boy! We picked out your name that very night. I brought up circumcision with your daddy and he said "yeah of course we will circumcise" How was I suppose to know anything different? I didn't even fully understand what a foreskin was or how it worked. No one brought it up during my prenatal care to discuss the options... I guess it was just assumed that we knew what we were deciding.
The day you were born, I fell in love. You were absolutely perfect just the way you were. You had a beautiful round head and long eyelashes. I kissed every one of your long, perfect toes. We stayed in the hospital for two days just learning to be parents and you and I worked together to succeed in our breastfeeding relationship. The day we were supposed to be discharged, the nurse came in with a consent form for your circumcision. I don't think I even read it over. I have a copy of it now and the risks are severely understated and the benefits are spoken of highly. Reading it now, none of it sounds familiar as if I had read it before when I signed it. Because I did sign it. As much as it shames me to admit, I signed my name to have them take my beautiful, perfect son and put you through tremendous pain just to remove your foreskin.
When we found out you were a boy, we were over the moon! A boy! We picked out your name that very night. I brought up circumcision with your daddy and he said "yeah of course we will circumcise" How was I suppose to know anything different? I didn't even fully understand what a foreskin was or how it worked. No one brought it up during my prenatal care to discuss the options... I guess it was just assumed that we knew what we were deciding.
The day you were born, I fell in love. You were absolutely perfect just the way you were. You had a beautiful round head and long eyelashes. I kissed every one of your long, perfect toes. We stayed in the hospital for two days just learning to be parents and you and I worked together to succeed in our breastfeeding relationship. The day we were supposed to be discharged, the nurse came in with a consent form for your circumcision. I don't think I even read it over. I have a copy of it now and the risks are severely understated and the benefits are spoken of highly. Reading it now, none of it sounds familiar as if I had read it before when I signed it. Because I did sign it. As much as it shames me to admit, I signed my name to have them take my beautiful, perfect son and put you through tremendous pain just to remove your foreskin.
I didn't know any better but I don't excuse what I did to you. I regret it every day. I do wish someone had spoken to me about the subject, anything to get me to stand up for you and say no. But the fault lies on my shoulders. I didn't know then about the use of the foreskin and the benefits to keeping it. I didn't question that it was not my body part I was having amputated so maybe I shouldn't do it. I took away your bodily right to keep your whole body. I didn't know. And I failed you. Words can't explain how sorry I am and I just hope that when you are older, you can understand and forgive me.
Love,
Mama
Thank you for sharing your story. You have been able to use your experience and educate others, and in doing so has resulted in a positive outcome.
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